


To All The Idiots I've Loved Before

by theeternals



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Inspired by To All The Boys I've Loved Before, Jon Snow Knows Nothing, M/M, Multi, Not Beta Read, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:28:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27706934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theeternals/pseuds/theeternals
Summary: Hidden away on the top shelf of his closet lies an ordinary green hatbox to the normal eye but to Jon Snow, it holds something far more valuable.There in the hatbox consists of five letters,  all addressed to people that he's had a crush on.Satin Flowers, Ygritte O’Riley, Val Wilde, Theon Greyjoy, and Margaery Tyrell.
Relationships: Sansa Stark/Margaery Tyrell, Theon Greyjoy/Jon Snow
Kudos: 14





	To All The Idiots I've Loved Before

Hidden away on the top shelf of his closet lies an ordinary green hatbox to the normal eye but to Jon Snow, it holds something far more valuable.

There in the hatbox consists of five letters, all addressed to people that he's had a crush on. 

_Satin Flowers, Ygritte O’Riley, Val Wilde, Theon Greyjoy, and Margaery Tyrell._

These crushes were much different, these people had made Jon’s entire world revolve around them where his feelings were so intense that he had to write them down. 

None of the letters had ever been sent out. That was until last week, but our story does not start there.

It starts like how it usually does, boy meets girl and boy falls in love.

* * *

_A year ago_

Falling in love with her had never been Jon’s intention when he and Margaery had first started hanging out. It had been something that _happened_ along the way. One day he was babbling to Margaery about how it was so lame to go shopping with her and then the next he was jumping at the opportunity to spend time alone with her.

He fell for her and it pained him to admit it, Margaery was well Margaery. Gorgeous, kind to everyone, in the top percentile of their classes, the list goes on. Jon was a kid with an unruly mop of curls, vertically challenged, and whose only real pastime was that he was a part of the track team. 

They could never work out, it would be impossible and Jon would end up ruining a friendship. 

Or so he thought. 

“I think I like someone,” Margaery confessed one afternoon in Jon’s room while they were doing homework. 

Jon mumbled a reply, “Last time you said that it ended with you and me eating ice cream after you got too chicken to ask them out.”

“It’s not like the others!” Margaery tried to tell him, “This time it’s serious! I like them and I want to ask them out!” 

That got Jon’s attention, sure he loves Margaery and all but she usually didn’t’ act on her feelings, “Seriously?” 

“Yes!” Margaery nodded, “And we both know them so I need your help!” 

“We both know them?” Jon thinks back on the small number of people they both know and a thousand different scenarios run through his head. 

He knew that Margaery would never in a million years go out with Robb, due to a disastrous biology class they had. 

_“It wasn’t MY fault that the frog landed on her! I told her to stop moving!”_

Sansa and Margaery were close, frequently at each other's sides. Though Jon doubted it was her, if Margaery was even interested in Sansa, he surely would have picked up on it. 

Theon Greyjoy was well, Theon Greyjoy, and despite the times he asked her out, Margaery had always said no.

Joffrey Baratheon was a psychopath and so was Ramsay Bolton, so it couldn’t be them. 

That left only him.

This is where Jon Snow, a person known for not knowing things, thought of the least likely situation. That Margaery had a crush on him and was _simply scared_ to tell him. He put on a smile and looked her straight in the eyes. 

“I’ll help you.” 

* * *

After a full week of planning Margaery and Jon had come up with the perfect plan for her to confess her crush, Jon thought it was ridiculous that she was this shy not to tell him but he didn’t say it. Jon had drafted up a letter to her like he usually did, relaying all the things he loved about her and why he couldn’t tell her until now. (Well he had written it months ago but we can’t focus on that). Sure he had been too cowardly to tell her then but now knowing that Margaery liked him back, Jon would finally give her this letter. 

Everything would go to plan and it would go perfectly.

Margaery showed up to school in a white dress adorned with hearts printed on it with accessories to match, Jon nearly collapsed when he saw her. She always looked amazing but today she looked beautiful. 

“You look great,” Jon told her, “Where are the roses? Or did you agree with my suggestion that they were overkill?” 

Margaery huffed and playfully hit him in the shoulder, “They are not! You’re boring,” Jon rolled his eyes, “Loras has them, I didn’t want the surprise to be ruined.”

Jon nodded, now would be a perfect time to give Margaery the letter. His heart pounded in his chest, he could do this. It wasn’t like he was going to get rejected or something like that, why else would Margaery need his help?

“I have something….” He started, reaching for the letter in his back pocket.

“I have to say thank you for helping me with all of this!” Margaery exclaimed, “I know it has to be awkward with Sansa being your cousin and all.”

“What?”

Margaery looked at Jon like he was crazy before she put back on a smile and laughed, “Oh Jon, you’re so funny despite what Theon says!” She laughed, “You know helping me woo Sansa with this whole thing,” And then she said probably the most cliché line in history, “A girl couldn’t ask for a better friend.”

He forced back on a smile and put the letter further into his pocket, it wouldn’t be right to tell her now. Some day he would, like how he promised himself he would with the other letters, eventually tell the person.

“No problem, what are friends for?” He asked, the first bell ringing in the background.

* * *

“She thought the roses could be a bit too much but it was just so _romantic!_ ” Sansa gushed on the car ride home, “It was like it was straight out of a fairytale!”

Sansa had always been one who loved grand romantic gestures, she said it made it true that the person loved you. How a guy carrying a giant boombox in the rain or running through an airport/traffic showed that they loved somebody, Jon would never know. 

“It sounds adorably disgusting,” Arya added, gagging to Jon. He had to stifle a laugh. Sure his heart was breaking into a million little pieces but Arya’s utter disgust at romance would always cheer him up.

Sansa looked over from the front and seemed as if she was debating whether to kill Arya, “It’s not disgusting! You think love is gross because you’re still in middle school.”

“Do not!” Arya shouted back, “Jon thinks love is gross too, he’s pouting!” 

Jon was ready to panic, had he let his emotions show while Sansa was talking? How was he going to explain why he was pouting? Maybe he was pouting because he was thinking of a test he bombed? That could work, he did have a quiz for Mr. Giantsbane that he isn’t sure he passed, so it _technically_ wouldn’t be lying. If Jon is anything, he’s not a liar, a coward maybe but not a liar. 

Before he could pipe up with his total, not a lie, Robb came in and saved him. 

“That doesn’t count Arya,” Robb turned into the Starks’ driveway, “Jon is _always_ pouting.”

Robb, Sansa, and Arya explode into laughter like it’s the funniest thing they’ve ever heard. Jon had to bite his tongue for a reply, he’s not always frowning. It’s his neutral state, like resting bitch face. Though perhaps now he’s grateful for it always being how his face looks, Jon can slip out of the car without them noticing. 

It’s not until Jon has entered the safety of his room that he finally lets his guard down, lets himself feel the emotions he refused earlier. 

It had been such a stupid idea! He had been so stupid! To think that _Margaery Tyrell_ of all people liked him back, what had he been thinking? Gods, this was pathetic. Worse than pathetic it was downright sad. 

The tears are an unexpected thing. Jon isn’t much of a crier if he’s being honest. (No matter how much Theon tries to tell him that he cries too much.). But here he is, crying in his room because he misread signals that were probably obvious to everyone else but him. 

Sansa and Margaery had been friends for longer almost as long as Theon and Robb, they were always whispering about something or someone, smiling at each other like they were on some sort of secret. 

Jon felt sick for even thinking this but how could he compete with his cousin when it came to Margaery? 

Jon sighed, made the way to his closet, and took down the hatbox from the usual space.

With Margaery’s letter that makes the total five, six if you count the double offender which Jon doesn’t, and Jon feels even more pathetic. Who still even writes love letters now? Scratch that who writes love letters they don’t even _send out_? Nobody!

Jon Snow truly is the most pathetic person out there. 

The letters should have been thrown out or stopped completely a long time ago before it became the thing Jon had to do when he had a crush this intense. 

He’s tempted to rip them all to shreds now and be completely done with it, to try and forget these crushes even happened but he can’t. Even a glance at them makes Jon’s heart feel some sort of way, he’s attached to them like the sad person he is. 

“Why are you like this?” Jon asked himself, looking down at the letters, “Why couldn’t it be at least emails?” 

Jon knows why, the camp he was attending during the summer before sixth grade didn’t allow them to use any technology. Six straight weeks of nothing but pen and paper and Jon trying desperately to gain Satin Flowers’ attention and failing all so desperately. 

Gods he hasn’t thought about Satin in _years_ and to think he’s the reason why Jon started writing in the first place. 

Slowly he picked up the other letters, he needed to put them back in their space before anybody saw. Living with the Starks’ always ensured that somebody would come barging into a room and he didn’t need them questioning why Jon was looking inside a hatbox. 

Even if he may hate them, he needs them. They've been a shield for him, to prevent any potential heartbreak from happening, how can you get hurt if your crush never knows you liked them? 

The letters are the longest secret he's ever had and Jon intends to keep it that way.

**Author's Note:**

> I believe I owe an explanation as to why I abandoned the original TATIILB:  
> 1) I lost my beta reader and so that put things into some uncertainty lol  
> 2) College applications are tough  
> 3) I reread the previous two chapters and I'll be honest, I didn't necessarily think they were good, I think there was a lot of stuff I added in there because I just wanted it there. I decided to rewrite them and honestly, I much prefer this to the first chapter! I feel we needed more Jon and Marg scenes to establish they were friends and to put into some perspective what it was like for Jon to realize he wasn't Marg's crush. Also, I wanted an excuse to fix the timeline and change who the letters were for, as Tormund is no longer one of Jon's recipients. I had always planned for Satin to be included but had simply abandoned that idea, I figured a summer camp love story was more appealing than Jon having a crush on a counselor. Plus it follows TATILB more!  
> 4) Although I would have loved to keep the first kiss in the first chapter, I recognize the pacing just wasn't there so I believe it would be better for the story as a whole to follow the books more. So a little more exposition and then we get into some cuter things! Theon and Val will be making their appearances shortly (Theon taking on the Peter K role and Val taking on Lucas' role, idk if Ygritte or Satin will be included, up for some feedback from y'all!).  
> 5) I think I made it seem obvious who sent out the letters as people had already guessed Robb and although I will be confirming nor denying those, I wanted to have some more clues on who could possibly send them out. Robb just accidentally became the person most people thought of because he and Jon were the only ones who interacted, so that part will be changed. 
> 
> Overall there were just some personal issues and story issues that I wanted to fix up, I apologize deeply for deleting the work but I wasn't proud of it. Hopefully, this is a more improved version! :)
> 
> Comments and feedback are ALWAYS appericated! Thank you for reading!!!!


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